Invisible Warring

In case you didn't know, it's just ONE WEEK until my wedding! Technically less, actually, because it is midnight now and therefore a week from the first day of our honeymoon. :) I can't believe it. The past  six-ish months have been so long and so short at the same time, truly a phenomenon of physics.

One thing is for certain: I never want to look at another pinwheel again.

Or program. Or tablecloth. Or iTunes (still not done with my own wedding music!).

Wedding stuff is seriously getting poopy now. I am burned out for sure. Every day has mostly been comprised of me and my parents doing wedding-related shopping, crafting, planning, freaking out, and other activities. I barely see any of my friends, mostly because the majority of them are not in Orlando at present but also just due to me being busy and them having lives. I keep being left around 10 p.m. to yet another night of Frasier reruns. Don't get me wrong, Frasier is my favorite television show ever -- there just comes a point where you are ready for a little more jazz going on in life around that time than Kelsey Grammer.

The stress and boredom that comes with cutting out programs on a $6 paper cutter all day manifests in ways that aren't good. I find myself getting more irritable a lot faster. When my neck hurts and I've messed up a handful and need to print more, I feel more fussy. That collides with my interactions with Darin, who is also very busy with work and other things, leaving both of us exhausted throughout the day. I take his busyness and tiredness as him nonverbally saying, "You're not that important to me. I don't want to talk to you," rather than "You are so important to me, I am just really tired right now and can't talk long." The continued frustration of having less and less quality time with him as the wedding draws near makes the occasion all the more frustrating! It seems illogical, but it's hard to plunk down and DIY more and more for your wedding when you are worried your groom isn't really that excited to be with you himself.

Stewing in feelings of sadness, it hit me like a ton of bricks tonight as I was washing my face: SPIRITUAL WARFARE, CHICA. That is the connector between everything else. Satan is a master deceiver and wants God's children to feel uneasy and frustrated when huge events that glorify God approach. There are so many little opportunities for him to do his work, from conflating small issues into mountains of irritation for me in wedding planning, to twisting my interactions with Darin into visions of rejection and loneliness. Getting married and becoming one is a huge day of joy in the Christian kingdom because it honors God's plan for starting families and doing ministry as a permanent team, embodying the love Jesus has for his people! Why is it a big surprise that Satan would be so interested in meddling with a bride the week of her wedding?

What encourages me to consider is that he does this because we are moving towards something that is God's exciting plan for us, one that we are so grateful and overjoyed to take. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I am doing what I am meant to do. I am getting married to not only a godly and strong man, but also one who is my best friend! Realizing how much he means to me and how much our union pleases God and should point to Him combats the lies that want to take hold of my life as the wedding gets closer. It's important to pray for the strength to say no to untruth and withstand the temptation to have an outburst that I will regret later.

Believe that God is good.
Believe that He loves you.
Believe that the people He's given you in life love you, too.

I am hoping that this message is more firmly anchored into my heart. It's the weapon I need to fight these invisible wars and be the victor in enjoying this last week before I marry the love of my life and start my brand new life by his side!

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8

Love, Lara

P.S. THANK YOU LORD THAT THIS LONG DISTANCE IS ENDING. I SERIOUSLY HATE IT ABOUT AS MUCH AS I HATE THE DEVIL. IT IS NOT GOOD.

10...9...8...

Umm... SURPRISE!

YAY!!!!

I can't believe it. This past month and a half have really flown like crazy. From back on December 22nd when we got engaged, through the months of my final semester at USF, it never seemed to get any closer. Until now, that is! When you can say you're getting married in less than 10 days you know it's on!

I am so blessed, and am taking time tonight to lay out these blessings before the Lord in prayer and thank Him for every single one. It's just so incredible. The littlest things are so wonderful. I am rejoicing in how Darin is such a great uncle -- he made dinner for his (and soon to be my) nieces and nephew, and took them to get ice cream and a movie rental. They come over and swim and hang out at our house now. Might I mention that I'm jealous I can't be there for that yet? But I seriously can't get over how I am marrying the best guy in the world. Gosh. He just jazzes up my life so much. 

Something I am also so deeply grateful for, that a lot of people can't claim for themselves, is my amazing in-law family. I am the luckiest girl ever. You hear people you know vent about how their mother-in-law is always meddling in their business, and how their brother-in-law keeps borrowing money, and other nightmare tales. I am actually so excited for the family I am joining soon! They are fun, laid-back, and so easy to be around and get along with. They joke around and spend a lot of time together, something I like since I don't live near any of my aunts or uncles or grandparents. They've been so gracious in hosting me and keeping me company when Darin is at work, haha. They put so much time and effort into the bridal shower they threw in Michigan, which was so fun despite the mishaps! I am proud to be taking their last name soon! :)

And, let's not forget, I am thankful for people willing to help out in getting this wedding shindig on the road. My friends (and Mom, of course) offering to help me spray paint, hot glue, tie ribbons, hole punch, and myriad other things are keeping me sane and giving me company during the most mundane of tasks. I have some sweet hookups for parts of the wedding, such as a great friend from church named Becca who is taking care of our cupcakes, and my Mammaw for sewing me a garter and the ring pillow among some other things! I am showered with help and company!

The final countdown is on!

Love, Lara

Remember the Joy

Just as with everything in this world, there are hills and valleys. I've definitely been feeling that the past couple of days. I had a great time in Michigan getting our house all set up and spending time with my in-laws-to-be and my boo, and am just so tired of having to fly back home again after all that.

The light at the end of the tunnel is definitely near. If I really stop and think about it, it kind of freaks me out. Less than a month until I get married! I am so ready for this to happen already. We've been planning for months and dealing with long distance for many months more. It's taking its toll on me, and even though I never have to go away to visit Darin and then leave again, it gets harder every time to go back to "normal life" talking on the phone a few times a day and that being all that you have.

I think the hardest part is the somewhat helpful but painful tidbits of marriage advice I keep getting; "There will definitely be hard times." "Getting married doesn't mean you won't ever feel lonely again." "Adjusting to being married can be really frustrating." On top of the pain of being apart, it just brings a little discouragement to dwell on these thoughts, which are 100% true but just not well timed for me. My excitement about getting married is dampened a little when I think that some of the sad things I deal with in a long distance engagement won't forever disappear when Darin and I start living in the same house.

It's always good to be realistic, and know that nothing is perfect. When you get married, you are entering a covenant that isn't always easy to keep and is shared by a sinner, someone who makes mistakes and won't always gel with your ideas and feelings every second of every day. But sometimes, when you have had it with being a thousand miles away, you just need to focus on the joy of your wedding day. Then, you will at least be together -- not just in the same zip code but the same home! You will probably rub each other the wrong way sometimes, or even get into it a little deeper than that, but you'll have so many more of those special and fun moments that you remember fondly when you sit on another flight home from visiting your love. You're starting a new life with your favorite person and best friend, and can count on being with him when new hills and valleys approach.

That promise, founded on how God designed marriage and desires it to be, is what I'm clinging to in this awkward transition time of frantically finishing wedding preparations and growing weary of having to say goodnight and hang up until tomorrow. Marriage is a gift and a joy, and that is what merits mentioning the most!

Love, Lara

What I Love About You

Tonight, talking on the phone with Darin, I was really struck by just how much I love that guy. It's a shame the rest of ladykind will have to miss out on his goodness, but I am not sharing him for nothing! To me, it is truly one of those non-scientific proofs of God and His purpose for the lives of his children. How we met was so random and could have been prevented or changed by millions of tiny little things. How it worked out for us to continue talking, continue visiting each other, and continue growing together was surrounded by trillions more little miracles. We are so alike and so different; we challenge each other but satisfy each other, too. My mind is still blown by the past year I have spent knowing this man and I am thrilled at learning more in years to come!

I could write an ode about how much I love Darin!

1. He loves Flight of the Conchords and Freaks & Geeks, my two favorite and somewhat obscure TV shows.
2. He says some awfully weird things before thinking too hard about if they make any sense, and it usually cracks me up.
3. He is amazed by my cooking abilities and loves to eat fun food! (Sushi was a definite deal breaker... good thing he is a fan.)
4. He plays guitar and leads worship at church and Cru meetings sometimes. 
5. He has a good sense of style. We just look good together.
6. He is 6'1", aka way taller than me. I feel kind of like I robbed a tall-ish girl of a tall guy -- at 5'3", I am not hard to accommodate -- but I like it this way. :)
7. He appreciates me looking nice and doesn't make (a lot of) fun of my makeup, nail polish, and dress collections, but enjoys it because I end up looking fancy!
8. He is a handyman and can fix and make all kinds of things, and is a master house painter!
9. He is great with kids and so fun to watch when messing around with his nieces & nephews, and kids from his work at the Y.
10. His sense of humor is pretty darn wonderful. Anyone with a hillbilly mullet wig on hand in the trunk of the car is someone I would be intrigued by to some degree.
11. He is transparent and honest about everything, we've talked about everything under the sun.
12. When we have a disagreement or frustrating moment, he is quick to go "LARA! I love you!" and hug me, even when most of the time I don't want him to touch me, haha. (I like to mope when I am upset at myself for messing something up. Just FYI.)
13. I may be able to cook, but I can't really grill yet, but Darin makes up for that shortcoming. We have made some stinkin' good chicken!
14. He and I laugh at the same YouTube things.
15. He likes being near the city, as do I. We are not at all interested in rural living whatsoever. Even though downtown Detroit and downtown Orlando are two totally different places, they are our urban homegrills! (Although soon we will have the SAME ONE AHHH)
16. He loves all kinds of people and treats them all the same. He would be just as interested in and nice to the president as he would be to a homeless man.
17. He is bold with his faith! He doesn't think so, but he gets so many opportunities to share it and does so with all kinds of people he runs into.
18. He is a family guy, and has tons more relatives than I do, but spends time with them!

Oh, there is so much more, but I need to squeeze a little sleep in for my LAST WEEK OF CLASS! YES! I can't believe it! It is a doozy but it can be done!

Have you made a list of things you love about someone lately? It feels great to do and is such a great reminder of the gifts we have in our relationships! 

Love, Lara

Le Bling

I have mentioned before that I really did not do much planning in the way of what my dream wedding and all that would be like. Well, at least until some months into dating Darin and being pretty darn sure that I did not want to keep looking. :) Lacking this interest for a long time in my years spent as a girl -- 22 and a half! -- I also did not have a huge interest in jewelry. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was a junior in high school, and even then, got cheap fashion earrings that were no more than $8.00 a pair, and also some of those necklaces from Forever 21 that probably have something toxic in them.

Consequently, I did not have much to give Darin in the way of preferences when I knew he was in the market for an engagement ring. (I hadn't a single clue how soon I would be offered such a ring, which is a story to come, of course!) As long as it was not a heart-shaped diamond, I was really not too terribly picky. A man with good taste and three sisters will probably be fine!

I am glad that I left Darin to his own devices to pick which one, because knowing that he saw one that reminded him exactly of me is way more meaningful.

How little I knew about jewelry is made evident in the fact that I had NO CLUE what my ring size was. I just estimated about a 6 but was not sure, so Darin's secret transaction included sizers on a ring that was too big with the understanding that it would need to be made smaller. I think he knew that my tiny hands were smaller than I thought, haha. But three months later, it is all fitted right and looking sharp. I can be engaged with style!

Really loving showing off what my boo picked out just for me. Not sorry that he is off the market from everyone else. ;)

Love, Lara